


What If We Run Away?

by bubblegumclouds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Happy Ending, Insecure Harry, M/M, Panic Attacks, acne, mentions of bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 22:43:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15496350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumclouds/pseuds/bubblegumclouds
Summary: Harry has bad acne and Louis doesn't quite understand, that doesn't stop him trying his hardest though.





	What If We Run Away?

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos, comments and subscribe.
> 
> Twitter- @angeltxmlinson  
> Tumblr- @angeltxmlinson

“Lou, where’s my foundation?” Harry shouted to his new boyfriend as he hurried to get ready for the suit fitting they were supposed to be going to. Harry hated awards ceremony's, especially the one they were attending but they were part of the job so he had to deal with it. Louis had insisted on a quickie which set them behind schedule and meant that Harry’s acne was even redder than usual. The sore lumps covered his face, pooling into a heap of red at the bottom of his cheeks. Right now he was doing his best to overlook the unpleasant sensation consuming his tender skin.

“Why would I know?” Louis replied as he chucked on his beanie and swung his coat over his arms, Harry envied how swiftly he could get presentable. Harry clambered around until it fell on the floor... oh god.  
“No, no, this isn’t happening, no...” Harry muttered as he scrambled to tear the lid off and frantically pumped the bottle into his hand but nothing was coming out. He fumbled around his other stocks, everything coming out empty.

“What’s wrong Harry?” Louis asked from the bathroom doorway.  
“I can’t go, I’m sorry Lou, I can’t,” Harry turned and sighed, frustrated with how he got in this position. He should have bought some weeks ago but things got busy and he hadn’t realised he’d been using more and more.

“What? Why? We need these suits Haz,” Louis asked and Harry had been hiding how obsessive he was about this because he was terrified that maybe if he made a big deal, Louis would too.  
“I have no foundation left,” Harry stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.  
“So? We’ll pick some up on the way back if it bothers you that much, now come on. We’re gonna be late,” Louis gestured for them to leave but Harry froze in his place. God Harry hated how oblivious his boyfriend was sometimes.

“I can’t leave the house, Louis, not without my foundation on. People stare a-and they whisper things,” Harry trailed off, forcing his upset back as much as he could. It was such a sensitive topic that he’d do anything for it not to be brought up, especially not in a new relationship. They’d barely been dating for a few months.

“People will always stare and whisper Harry, we’re not quite as normal as you like to think. We are actually quite well known,” Louis joked sarcastically but Harry couldn’t laugh along. The room went silent for a minute, Harry just staring at the ground. Louis assumed Harry was physicking himself up to leave, maybe he needed a minute to gather his confidence. Louis sneakily glanced at his watch and it was time.

“Harry, love, I hate to rush but we-“  
“SHUT UP, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT. UP.” Harry stormed past Louis as the tears began to fall and he sat on the bed, palms in his hands. Although he knew the tears would probably hurt and irritate his skin, he couldn’t bring himself to stop them.  
“O-Okay,” Louis whispered, static from where Harry had roughly shoved him. He was confused at what had provoked the outrage.  
“Um, I’m going to go get my suit done so, um, see you later,” Louis said with a head shake and eyebrow raise as he left, the door to their hotel room crashing shut.

Harry spent 10 minutes solidly sobbing before he had to call his mum or he knew he'd never stop.  
“M-Mum?” His voice cracked as he clutched the phone in both hands.  
“Haz? Oh no, what’s happened?” She asked, sensing the instantaneous upset in his voice.  
“I-I got in a fight w-with Louis and I yelled and I can’t go after him now and I don’t want him to hate me,” Harry rushed.  
“Woah, okay calm down Harry, just start from the beginning,” She comforted and Harry recalled the events.

“Harry, love, I know how difficult you find it. I know how low your confidence is but you can do it and nobody will care,” she reminded but Harry was shaking his head even though she couldn’t see him.  
“No mum, you said that about school and you said that about the birthday meal and people do care, they think I’m dirty mum. They think I’m disgusting,” Harry choked out, he recalled the nightmares as if they were recent.

“Harry, you cannot hold onto these memories, they were years ago,” his mum sighed, they went over this every time.  
“You don’t get it, mum, nobody gets it. I know what they’re thinking, I know what they’re saying to their friends. I can’t go out, I can’t leave the house without my makeup and that’s the end of it,” Harry ranted, wondering how this became his life. He has so much others would dream of and he’s sat sobbing in his hotel room on the phone to his mum.

“Alright Harry, why don’t you just call Louis, apologise and ask him to pick you some up when he gets back?” his mum calmly responded and Harry sighed.  
“Yeah, I will,” he lied, he couldn’t drag Louis into this mess more than he already had done.  
“Okay love, please promise me you’ll do something about this sweetheart,” Anne added and Harry hummed as a non-committal sign.  
“Yeah, love you, bye.”  
“Love you too, bye.”  
Harry felt no better and he still had no solution. He figured he’d see how Louis was when he got back.

-

It was a few hours before Louis came through the door and Harry was slightly terrified at how angry Louis was with him.  
“Harry?” Louis said as he put the bags down. It didn’t have any venom behind it, no impact which was a hopeful start.  
“Yeah, Lou?” Harry said, worried that he hadn’t seen Louis yet.  
“Your suits on the door, they want you to try it on and see if it fits,” Louis relayed and Harry felt a little down heartened.

“Okay,” he muttered back, not sure what to say, the tension was too thick.  
“Haz, I-I don’t get it,” Louis spoke and it was like a weight was lifted. Louis came into the room, sitting on his bed.  
“What?” Harry asked as he turned and saw Louis wasn’t as composed as he sounded. He’d been crying, and recently too.

“I don’t get why, I mean why do you push me away all the time? You hide yourself, is it me? Have I done somethin’ or said somethin’?” Louis’ lip was wobbling and Harry felt so guilty.  
“No, Lou it’s not you. I should be open with you but I can’t, I can’t bring attention to it or I’ll lose you too,” Harry groaned in frustration as he threaded his fingers through his knotted curls.  
“Haz, you’re not going to lose me. Just talk t’me,” Louis emphasised as he leant forward and took Harry’s hands in his.

“When I-I was 13 was when it first happened, Jonny O’Reilly pushed my head in a sink and told me my face was disgusting. Then it became every day, and not just in school, on the street too. I’d get all the same, pizza face, get a wash, dirty, vile, disgusting, gross, infected. You name it, it was said,” Harry paused to wipe the snot away and took a brief moment of comfort in the fact that Louis was listening intently, his eyes even watering.

“Anyway, then I started with makeup and most of the insults went away. It was with my first boyfriend that they came back. I was 16, had a boyfriend called Josh, I thought I adored him. Worshipped him, I did. I’d just moved so nobody had seen me without makeup and I had the football captain, it was perfect. Then, a few weeks in, we decided to sleep together. I hadn’t planned and I assumed my foundation would stay on b-but,” Harry choked out a sob and Louis began to cry too.

“Shh love, it’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it if you can’t. It’s alright,” Louis comforted as he swapped over to Harry’s bed and pulled him in closer.  
“N-No, you deserve to know. S-So, my foundation, it, um, runs a-and it was redder anyway but h-he looks down a-and... h-he says,” Harry took a big breath, “what are you, you monster? That’s disgusting, have you infected me with something?” Harry dissolved into tears, curling in on himself and Louis lost it, pressing desperate kisses to Harry’s curls.

“Sweetheart, you are not disgusting. You aren’t a monster and that guy was a dick, he didn’t deserve you, love,” Louis said but none of it was going in.  
“H-He told the school, t-told them I had an STI. The way they l-looked at me Lou, I-I can’t,” Harry said as he finally made eye contact with Louis.

“Hey, hey, come here, shh alright. I’m so sorry love, I didn’t know how much this had affected you and all that shit you had to go through. You’re too beautiful for that, and do you know what, fuck the acne. It’s hurt you enough and it doesn’t deserve to hurt you anymore,” Louis said as he very gently brushed the sensitive space between Harry’s eye and cheek.

“I can’t Lou, I can’t do anything more about it, I’m already on meds and the most intense skin routine I can manage,” Harry sighed and Louis shook his head.  
“No, I mean fuck the makeup and fuck not going outside,” Louis said and Harry smiled at his naivety.  
“Lou, I wish I could but I can’t. I’ve been through this for years love, I can’t just get over it,” Harry replied as kindly as possible, seeing what Louis was trying to do.

“Yeah, sorry, of course. Okay, look we’ll take it slow. How about we just go for a walk around the hotel? Not outside, just around. We probably won’t even see anyone,” Louis said and Harry shook his head, the thought of anyone seeing the mess he was currently was humiliating to him.  
“I’m not going to pressure you or force you but I just, I don’t want to see you like this, hell, you don’t deserve to do this to yourself, baby,” Louis whispered as he pressed kisses to each one of Harry’s knuckles. Harry huffed, debating whether it was a good option or not.

“Okay, alright but if I can’t do it-“  
“You can come straight back, hell, you can sprint,” Louis cut off and Harry giggled. They opened the door, Harry’s heart hammering and his palm collecting moisture between his hand Louis’ hands.  
“Hey, stop here, nice deep breaths, don’t panic. Nobody’s here,” Louis said as they stood at the door, Harry trying hard to push things back down. He hadn’t left the confinements of his own space without makeup seen he was in his early teens.

“You just lead me when you’re ready love, there’s no rush,” Louis smiled and Harry couldn’t believe Louis was so patient.  
“O-Okay,” Harry exhaled and led Louis down the corridor and to the lift, heading for the entrance. He and Louis got in it and Louis said nothing as Harry led them to the front of the hotel. Once the door closed, Harry looked around and caught sight of his face, luckily nobody saw the horror dawning on him as he turned to Louis.

“Oh god, no this, t-this is. Louis get me out, take me back, I-I can’t even,” Harry whispered and Louis pulled him into a cuddle.  
“Alright, shh, I’ve pressed the button sweetheart. We’ll be back up in just a minute, you’re all hidden and nobody’s here,” Louis stayed calm despite him wishing he could do anything for Harry right now. Unfortunately, when they stopped at the entrance, a cleaner got in. Louis began to panic.

“Harry, love, you okay?” Louis whispered and he could feel the woman’s eyes on them.  
“N-No Louis, I-I can’t do this okay, I can’t, get me back,” his muffled panicking was still quite loud and Louis was hoping they’d get away with silence but the woman turned to them.

“Is he okay?” She asked and Louis painted on his best smile.  
“Yeah he’s just having a bit of a bad day,” Louis replied and she sighed a bit.  
“I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically and Louis patted Harry’s hair as they were almost at their stop.  
“It’s okay, Harry we’re getting out in a sec,” Louis said and Harry clung to him.  
“Don’t let anybody see, please Lou,” Harry begged and Louis sighed.  
“Love, you’re drawing more attention to yourself by getting upset and saying things like that. Nobody would think any different of you,” Louis said just as the doors opened.

“Shh love, I’m sorry, I’m sorry baby I pushed you too much. It’s okay, it’s okay,” Louis sighed, realising panicking him would only make it worse.  
“I-I’m sorry I’m s-so pathetic,” Harry whispered and Louis pressed a kiss to his boyfriend’s wild curls as he carried him out.  
“You are not pathetic darlin’, you are me little prince okay?” Louis replied as he opened their door and placed Harry on his bed.

“Don’t even look at me, I’m a mess, I’m just a disgusting, pathetic mess,” Harry angrily seethed as he gripped the duvet in his clenched fists. Louis kneeled down in front of him, placing his hands on Harry’s knees.  
“That was on me, okay, don’t you think for a second to get angry at yourself. You did so well sweetheart, I just pushed you because I don’t understand. I want to, if you’d let me over time, I want to help,” Louis said and Harry sniffled, moved speechless at how understanding Louis was.

“I will, I will help you get it. It’s just, it’s- I hate the way I look, I hate the way it makes me look. I d-don’t wanna leave the house most days even with makeup on. The makeup hurts and itches and I’m c-constantly terrified it’s gonna come off a-and I-I can’t Louis, I can’t.” Harry couldn’t force any more words out and Louis could see he was exhausted.

“Hey, sweetheart it’s okay, you’re so strong, love. What about, I’ll go grab our pyjamas and we’re going to have a cuddle alright? Does that sound okay?” Louis offered and Harry eagerly nodded.  
“Just need to clean my face b-because it’s hurting from all the r-rubbing,” Harry sighed as he got up and Louis followed him. Harry saw Louis behind him in the mirror.

“What are you doing?” He asked curiously as he hissed while spreading the cream over the sore areas.  
“My poor baby,” Louis sighed as he wrapped his arms around Harry and pressed chaste kisses to his neck. Louis squeezing him made him feel a lot less disgusting and a lot more loved. Plus, a day of Netflix and cuddles afterwards certainly helped.

-

The next morning, Harry plodded to the bathroom while Louis was still asleep only to find writing all over the mirror. Harry held in his happy sobs as he read it all.

_my baby is stunning!!!!_

_I <3 u so much_

_Ur skin is beautiful no matter what bc its a part of u and ur beautiful_

_I’m always proud of u!_

_Believe in urself, u are amazing_

_u can do it :)_

Then at the bottom read,

_H,_   
_I may not get it all right but I’d love it if u teach me. I’m going 2 try my best 2 be the most amazing person for u because thats what u deserve._   
_-Lou_   
_P.S. I found this lipstick in your bag, I hope this wipes off or the hotel staff are gonna kill me =D_

Harry took a picture of it and sent it to his mum before running back into the bedroom, instantly beginning to pepper kisses all over Louis’ sleeping face.  
“Woah, woah I guess you found me message,” Louis sleepily croaked as Harry beamed.

“I did, Lou, I love you,” Harry blurted as he held onto Louis tightly.  
“Love you too bug but I’d love you more if you gave me a lie in,” Louis rubbed his eyes and Harry laughed.  
“Sorry, I was excited,” Harry replied taking in the sight of an adorably sleepy Louis.  
“No, no, don’t apologise. I wouldn’t miss seeing that smile on you for the world,” Louis replied and that made Harry blush even more.

“I mean every word of it you know, I do,” Louis cut through the joking tone and Harry looked up at him.  
“I know, and I mean it when I say you’re the most incredible person I’ve ever met,” Harry responded and Louis shook his head.  
“Come ‘ere you,” Louis opened his arms and Harry settled in, not once even worrying about anything other than keeping Louis by his side for the rest of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos, comments and subscribe.
> 
> Twitter- @angeltxmlinson  
> Tumblr- @angeltxmlinson


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